Energy comes in rhythms

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that energy isn’t constant — it comes in waves. Science shows us this through circadian rhythms (our daily sleep–wake cycles) and ultradian rhythms (the shorter 90-minute cycles of alertness and rest).

I used to ignore the dips, pushing through with more coffee, more chocolate, or at times sheer willpower. In recent years, I’ve discovered that taking a short walk, stepping outside for fresh air, or simply pausing with a quiet cup of tea restores me far more than powering on ever has. Respecting those natural rhythms has been a game changer for me.

Joy is in the small moments

I used to think joy came from celebrating big milestones — holidays, birthdays, educational or career achievements. But research, and my own experience, show that it’s the small daily joys that matter most.

In the late 1990s, psychologist Barbara Fredrickson’s work in positive psychology revealed that micro-moments of joy — a laugh with family, noticing the sun on your face, listening to a favourite song — actually build resilience and wellbeing. I’ve found this to be true. Even on the busiest or hardest days, when I pause to notice something small and good, my whole mood shifts.

The power of boundaries

Finding balance also means letting go of what drains us. This has been a harder lesson for me. I’ve always wanted to say yes, to be there for others, to do as much as possible. But I’ve learned — sometimes the hard way — that saying “no” is an act of self-care. Research shows that having clear boundaries reduces chronic stress and protects our mental health. The “Let Them” theory I came across earlier this year has helped too — letting others be who they are, while protecting my own energy.

Movement as medicine

Balance doesn’t mean punishing workouts or strict routines. After being unwell recently, I was reminded how powerful gentle movement can be. Starting with short walks, stretching, and slowly building up helped me regain my energy. Research is clear: even light activity improves mood, lowers stress hormones, and supports better sleep. For me, moving in ways that feel kind — not forced — has been key.

Rest is part of the equation

And then there’s rest — the thing I used to resist most. I saw rest and downtime as wasted time, until my body reminded me otherwise. Quality sleep is essential for immune function, memory, and mood. I’ve found that when I give myself proper rest, I don’t just feel better — I show up better in every other part of my life.

A gentler way forward

Wellbeing isn’t about getting everything right; it’s not about perfection. It’s about noticing what matters, recognising our limits, and celebrating the small wins. Balance, energy, and joy come from paying attention to the little choices each day that help us stay calm and create moments worth celebrating.